Week 5: Kissed by a Mouse, Quiet as a Frog
We left off in the Catskills, I had just checked into my Cindy Lauper camper.....
Day 28
I woke up so happy, I love my tiny home, girls just wanna have fun!
In addition to more Iyengar inspired yoga in my life, I'm thinking I want more of these campers in my life too. All the stuff from my car fits perfectly, there's a place for everything, and no clutter. This week I intend to learn how to light a campfire and cook some food over a flame. Efficient living.
Before I can fully dive into this experience, I have some errands to run, so the first thing I do when I wake up is head to Walmart to get 8-pound weights. I recently read in a book that Jennifer Anniston keeps 8-pound weights in her house so she can use them while she’s talking on the phone and hanging out, and I want arms like Jennifer Anniston so I’m going to try it. She also said don’t eat shit. I figure this is a two-step process. Let me get the first part down, then I’ll worry about the second.
So I walk into a Walmart to get my 8-pound weights and realize it’s actually a small town in there all on its own. Efficient living in another way. It has a hair salon, a coffee shop, a pharmacy, an eyeglass store, 8-pound weights, it even has - wait for it......... A MURAL! Walmart has joined the fun. I ask A.I. "What is the deal with the mural in Walmart in Kinston NY?" It tells me they have a nationwide mural program to celebrate diversity and culture across communities and inspire connection. I find myself hoping they have a Walmart in Kathy's town.
Later that day I start to tell one of my girls about my day and she’s like – “You went to Walmart? Have you ever even been to a Walmart?” And I’m like – “I don't think so but I’m trying new things.” Don’t judge me here, we are accustomed to living unefficiently back at home where there are no Walmarts in the area. We go to Target or one of five different grocery stores when we need things (depending on our mood and time willing to commit) or to an actual Dunkin Donuts or hair salon around the corner, not one in the town of Walmart. But on the road, efficiency is key, so we will get well acquainted.
I don't remember what else I did this day, but I know I did not light that fire. I meant to.
Day 29
It’s laundry day. I find there’s something really soothing about laundromats. I don’t mind this time. It’s calming to me - watching the dollar bills sliding into the change machine, the sound of the quarters falling, the feeling of them in your hands, holding my grandmothers change purse that I store them in. You can fit so much into one machine, twenty minutes later the clothes are dry. Why does it take so long at home? Here in the land of efficient living, I wait briefly for the chore to be done, I look around and wonder about each person’s story and get an overwhelming feeling of sameness. We are all just people, doing our thing, doing the best we can each day. I find myself wondering - why doesn’t Walmart have a laundromat?
I don't remember what else I did this day, but I know I did not light the fire. I meant to. This might be the day I went outside to read and saw a bug that looked like a tick on my adirondack chair, so I went back inside my tiny home to hang there instead. I could see the trees through all the windows of the camper so it still felt good and kind of like being outside. Close enough.
Day 30
Four days in and I'm really loving this glamping experience - "outdoor time" indoors, some hiking, happy hour and smores around a campfire at night (lit by the staff at the main lodge, not me), the little TV in my tiny bedroom where I watch my horse shows on Netflix. I was chatting about the airstream park with a shopkeeper in Woodstock NY on this day - he looked up camper prices for me since I joked about buying one and living in it for the next two years. He finds out they go for the price of a small house, almost $200,000. More than I thought, but it doesn't matter, because I changed my mind about living Cindy Lauper style later that evening.
So what happened you wonder? Well, I'll tell you.
I went to bed at 11:00pm, which means I was dead asleep by 11:01pm - I'm the kind of person who is out within three seconds of my head hitting a pillow. What must have been about 20 minutes later, I wake up to this strange wet feeling on my forehead and start screaming something close to “get out of here you little M%$#@! F%&#@!”. A mouse had found its way into my camper, crawled on my head, kissed me on the forehead (going with kissed instead of licked but how can one be sure?), then scurried across the blanket in front of me where I cursed at him more and shooed him away. I get out of bed, turn on all the lights, look for the little f***** and he’s nowhere to be found.
I really am trying to be low-maintenance out here, but what’s a girl to do when this happens? I grab my phone to call the front desk in the lodge to get their thoughts - it's all I can think to do, because there is no way I'm just turning that light off and going back to sleep. Before I can call the front desk, I see one of my daughters is still up and texting me about something she wants to talk about and I’m having none of it – I trump her text issue with mine:
I think a mouse just crawled on my head.
What
Lol
It did
WHAT
I was sleeping
STOP
WTF
I manifested it. I worried about it and it happened.
Oh my god…wtf?? LOL
is it still in the room?
Holy crap
Idk
Omg so sorry
That’s gonna be so good in the blog
As you can see, she's very worried about my mental health and wellbeing. She proceeds to try to comfort me by telling me at least it wasn’t a rat, then I worry that maybe it WAS a rat. Then I quickly wonder if it was all a dream and maybe nothing happened at all (remember the 3D wallpaper??), except I can still feel the wet patch above my left eyebrow (gross).
So I go wash my face then call the front desk - I thought they would be like “whatever Miss, you’re camping” but they were like “OMG I’m so sorry, we will come get all your stuff and help you move right away to a new camper.” So I'm thinking it's late and that's a bit excessive and most definitely not efficient living given all the stuff I'm traveling with and how long it took me to get it efficiently into all its spaces, but I go along with it since I really don't want to sleep with the light on all night and they seem so horrified. So me, my 900 bags, and my 8-pound weights, move down the “street” to a new camper where apparently there are no mice or rats, how lucky, or at least the odds are better since the exterminator had just been there yesterday.
Day 31-32
It rained, I didn't want to move so I read in my mouse-free house for hours and hours. I loved the sound of the drops falling on the camper, all the green I could see outside every window, the quiet time with nowhere to be. I hiked at some point, did Pilates at a studio around the corner. I'm adding Pilates instructor to my list of possibilities for the next chapter.
I haven't picked up the 8-pound weights. I meant to. Maybe if I talk on the phone more that would help. Jennifer Anniston did say she uses them while she talks on the phone (this book is like 20 years old, I know most of you don't even talk on the phone anymore so you won't get this). Maybe I'll call some of you to say hi. And heads up, I'm in the generation that does NOT text before I call to see if it's a good time for you. If it's not a good time, then just don't pick up. duh.
Day 33-34
I checked out of the mouse-free airstream - no fires were lit, no weights were lifted, and I did need to buy a new toothbrush because ants crawled on mine, but it was wonderful! Drove to Hudson to meet my husband and kids for Mother’s Day weekend. Great time shopping/eating/drinking/laughing, watched a Mad Hatter Parade. Not sure why that's a thing, it just is. Community fun, Hudson style.
Day 35
Checked out of Hudson, kept one kid with me, checked into a new hotel for some mom/daughter time, and I do mean NEW hotel. It was Week One of the opening of Mirbeau Beacon, a fourth location for a fancy spa that many of you in MA know. It’s incredibly beautiful but they were still working out some kinks. The elevator was broken, which was troubling since the stairwell down to the spa was not finished yet, so nobody knew how to get from one floor to the other. I yell down to the spa front desk "How do we get to you?" They yell back "I'll come up and get you!" (I hope she hurries. I don't want to be late for my massage. See how low maintenance I am?)
She comes to us and we use back doors and emergency exits to get to the spa, turns out it was really helpful to know how to use these exits since around 10:00pm that night the fire alarm went off for no apparent reason and the fire department came to evacuate all six overnight guests. Back to the beautiful part, the place is designed to resemble Monet’s Garden. They have a ton of real Monet’s all throughout the hotel. Everything is really lovely, however funny thing, Monet’s Garden in the paintings looks so peaceful with all those lily pads, but here on this day there is a symphony of frogs (potentially in heat?) hanging around those lily pads making so much noise. It was so loud and unusual that at first I wasn't sure if they were real frogs or if the hotel was somehow piping nature sounds into the garden for effect. Turns out they are very real. Video proof attached.
Clips from the week:
Trout Town USA – the Catskills version of barn quilts and murals, a trail of painted doves to spread peace – this one is in Roscoe NY where I saw a lot of people fly fishing. Dove Trail | Catskills Art Sculptures Honoring Woodstock
Walmart USA
Airstream #1
Hudson River at twilight
Monet’s Garden
Quiet as a Frog video clip
Off to NYC to meet up with family and celebrate my son’s grad school graduation (Yeah!).
Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all you amazing moms!
Peace,
Kim
